I don’t believe there is a right or wrong answer for this question. What’s work for a child might not work for another. So I’ll just share how I try to answer this question. I always try to put myself in somebody elses shoes before starting to judge them. So by instinct I would just do the same when I interact with my children.

I think you should know that I’m not an experienced parent. I currently only have a 2.5 years old boy and an upcoming new baby at the end of this year. But hey, you could have 20 children and still not doing it right every time. You can’t wait until you have lots of children and learn from each children for years, it would have been too late until you finally find your perfect answer. Well, I believe we already have the necessary experience. Don’t forget that we were once children (as a matter a fact we’re still are). We should use our own experience as a child. The key is not to copy it, but to learn from it. What was our parents method and how did we react to it.

Learning from my own experience, my answer to this question for myself is, I should avoid saying it. Why? Do you know that everyone likes to be heard? I like to be heard and I’m sure you do, too. A simple sample: When we say “Don’t” to our children, of course we want them to listen and obey. But will they? Well, my first reaction to the word “Don’t” is a BIG WHY. Especially if I don’t know the reason or if I don’t know what will happened, which is exactly the case for children. Forbidding them to do something will only stimulate their curiosity. But we still can’t let them do as they like, right? So, start by listening to them. Ask them, “Why?”, “Why do you want to do this?”, “Why did you do that?” or “What did you do that for?”. Hear their answers, listen to them, then you can tell them why they shouldn’t. After that, let them decide if they will still do it or not, but warn them also that there will always be consequences for every decision. Give rewards for every good ones and punishment for every bad ones. Because before you realize it, there’ll come the time when we can no longer do much with their choices. So before that time comes, we should make sure we’ve trained them well.

They will make bad choices, trust me, they will. But it’s ok, it’s also a part of learning. Tell them that it’s ok to make mistakes, just make sure they learn from it. For this, we need to be reliable with what we promise them as a reward or a punishment. Don’t give them false promise for a reward or set them free from punishment just because you feel pity for them. Try to always give a suitable reward and punishment based on the choices they made.

Just a simple sample, when your children draw on the wall, ask them why, ask them if they know that wall is not for drawing. Listen to their answer, then don’t forbid them. Suggest them to draw on books, or canvas, or whiteboard, whatever you could supply as an alternative. Then you can promise them a reward that if they stop drawing on wall you will buy them 2 new coloring books of their favorite cartoon on next weekend. But if they don’t stop, you will have to punish them by hiding the crayon (or whatever they use to draw) for 2 days. Let them decide, just make sure they really get the consequences of their choice.

Well, what do you think? Do you have your own answer?

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Well, now I know that the name Valentine itself doesn’t have any romantic history. Beside the fact that people still celebrate it on Feb 14th, the celebration of VD nowadays hasn’t got any relevance to its origin. Some other countries has adapted VD celebration to their own version, not sure if this is a result of a social assimilation or just an end product of commercialization. Yet, some countries/people still see VD as a christian day. This has caused the celebration of this day is prohibited in some countries/area.

Tonight, I’m not going to debate about should or should you not celebrate VD. Beside, VD is already a few hours behind (here). I’d just like to remind myself, that from today I only have 320 days left of this year (2011). That’s considering The End of Days isn’t coming anytime soon Anyway, I don’t have any choice with what I should have done in the past, but I’ll always have a choice with I should do in these next 320 days.

It never really matters if today is VD, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Children’s Day, Grandparent’s Day, Best Friends’ Day or just an ordinary day. What matter is as long as I have love, for God, family, parents, siblings, relatives, friends or anyone, then I have enough reason to celebrate today

Well, happy any day to all of you!
Love, Sahat Tambunan

Hari ini, Jumat, 9 September 2005, 18.17, Pertama…

Hahaha, a very simple first post (^^) Anyway, now I know that at 9 September 2011, I would have been blogging for 6 years. Ah wait, I almost forgot. I have my blog connected to my facebook on October 2008. So everything I posted on my blog since then was also automatically posted on my facebook notice a few hours later. For all these, I personally like to thanks Friendster, WordPress and Facebook for giving me the chance to share by easy blogging.

My blogging life is not actually such a cool thing. I’m not a famous blogger that can have hundreds of comments in every post. I’m also not actively posting through these years. I’m not a great writer who can always provide entertaining posts. But hey wait a minute! Now I remember why I started it. It’s because I like sharing. Sharing thoughts, knowledges, experiences, ideas, new information and sometimes just sharing what I feel. I never hope to get famous (though I wouldn’t have rejected it have I had the chance hehe).

I believe that if I share what I have,
I will not lose it,
instead, I will gain even more.

Today, after blogging for more than 5 years (and not getting famous ), I now realize another advantage of it. It’s like having a journal of your life. Not a complete one (depending on how active you are), but you could always look back through it. In fact, I just did it last night, spent a few hours reading back through some of my early posts. I really can’t describe how great it felt, remembering things I’ve forgotten, the good times, the bad times, what I wrote when I was down and also remember how things was finally turned out. There even some very UN-important posts that I’ve written during some dull moments in my life, really! and it’s still fun to read them, or… eh… It probably just my narcissity

Well, after a few years of passive blogging, I now want to start getting a bit more active. Who knows, maybe I will get famous one day hahahahaha, g’night then mina san. Ah! 1 last thing, if you’re reading this in my facebook, why not come and visit my blog once in a while. It won’t hurt and you never know what you might found

Best Regards, Sahat Tambunan
http://blog.sahat-tambunan.com